I work from home and sometimes watch the Today Show in the morning. Have you ever noticed how the Today Show goes from covering legit stories in the earlier hours to shallow bullshit with Kathy Lee and Hoda in the final hour? I suppose the majority of people sitting at home at 10am are bored housewives who really do want to know how to make curtains or get the perfect blow out. From two ladies who appear to be slightly buzzed every morning to boot… Oh, fourth hour, you’re ridiculous. Today on Today, I’ve learned the challenges of dealing with your mother dating again and how to deal with said challenges. Fascinating! I also saw a ridiculous interview with Shaun White complete with Kathie Lee and Hoda playing  his new video game (it was as awkward as it sounds). And finally, Halloween dog fashion. That’s right! KL and Hoda gave us some excellent Halloween costume ideas for the pups. I use the term “excellent” quite loosely, by the way. For the record, I do not plan on dressing up my dog as Miss Barkansas, a baked potato (this poor bulldog had tin foil all over his back. Didn’t look happy), or as a bar. Yep. Seriously. They dressed up some poor husky as a bar. Shon doesn’t really like Halloween (mainly due to my notion that it’s absolutely ridiculous to put your pet in clothing and her inability to realize it’s Wednesday let alone Halloween because SHE’S A DOG) but a couple years ago there was a prize for best costume at her Doggy Daycare and I wanted free boarding. I used some spare fabric and dressed her up as a ninja turtle (Raphael in case you were wondering), but we lost to Dog: The Bounty Hunter. Which I guess is a good costume. Personally, I think any dog wearing sai’s on its paws should automatically win but I wasn’t judging. I dunno, maybe I should have dressed her up as a bar. Perhaps one of these options would work better this year.

Swift, David the Gnome’s pet fox?

Shon as Shon White (she has the name, the red hair, and everything)?

Or as dramatic cupcake dog?



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Posted by: Jo | October 23, 2010

Another Day for You and Me In Paradise

Is there anything better than an entire bar singing along to Phil Collins’ Against All Odds at midnight on a Thursday night? I doubt it. Pretty amazing, actually.

Posted by: Jo | June 1, 2010

“It’s okay, I was asleep so…”

NK and I went on a little adventure Thursday night. We submitted to be extras (read: movable props) for scenes from an upcoming project movie? TV show? TV movie? that apparently Queen Latifah is behind. I’ve done extra work before and NK has been featured in a few commercials, so we figured it’d be easy money and a fun experience. Also, I always drag NK along for “fun” adventures. See: Summer of Joanna, 2002.

Call time was originally slated for 11am, so we figured we’d be out of there in time for Screen on the Green Thursday night. Wrong. After changing our call time to 4:30 uh-oh, and telling us to expect to be there until 12 or 1, oh dear gawd, we got scared. Actually NK got scared, I just figured we’d be out of there by 12 or 1. I should have been scared.

At the start of the most horrible cocktail party ever.

We arrived on set in the Terminus building and after wardrobe approved our outfits, we sat in them for a good three hours. Maybe four hours. We got our hair done, make up touched up, and then we sat around some more. They fed us. Then they moved us to a different place to sit around and wait. We were split up at this point. Around 12, I figured they wouldn’t need us all for these scenes and they’d let us go. Boy was I wrong. 4 hours later, we were still burning the midnight oil.

Extra work is an interesting job. It’s really not hard, but it’s really tiring and boring. You stand on your feet over and over again and are expected to give 110% energy over and over again. Except instead of the actors (principal talent) who are given plush slippers and water in between takes, you’re herded around like cattle and told to shut the eff up. Like I said, you’re basically a movable prop.

When the camera is rolling, you have to be quiet. But you’re supposed to be talking. And dancing. Quietly. With a lot of energy. Even though you’re tired. And hungry. Around 2am, they brought us back to holding to get a snack and water when they should have been handing out energy drinks.

NK and I contemplated leaving several times during the day but if you leave, you don’t get paid. You don’t get paid a ton, but we kept figuring we’d be wrapped soon and “surely they won’t keep us past 2” turned into “surely we’ll leave by 3” which turned into “is it really 4?” and finally “seriously? birds are chirping.”

We finally got released around 6am. I heard a couple people say that they had been up for 24 hours straight. I went home and took a nap only to awake in time to catch a matinee showing of SATC2 and then get some work done. Totally backwards, I know. A couple hours before we left, one of the crew members took a liking to NK and said, “you’re my favorite, Teri!” After apologizing for calling her by a name she is not called, NK answered, “It’s okay. I was asleep.”

In my spare time, I like to read the Internet. It’s true. And I’m almost finished. Since I waste my time so efficiently, I have discovered a few sites I LOVE. Add them to your Google Reader pronto.

  • Hipster Puppies.* Hipster Puppies is genius. It’s like LOLCats for people who don’t match their clothes on purpose. L+L first introduced me to it on their blog, Quick + Dirty Dirty and now whenever I see a new post, I’m happier than an Indie Record store employee in SoHo. One of my faves:

    maggi and molli’s band spent more time shooting promo photos than writing music

    My dog as a Hipster Puppy:

    Shon is reading Atlas Shrugged for the third time this summer.

  • I’m Remembering! Note: The exclamation is part of the blog title, although I am pretty excited about it. This blog, referred to me by Jami of Date Wrecks Fame, busts out the nostalgia in a BIG way and made me realize that my parents spoiled the crap out of me. Seriously, it’s amazing how much of this sh*t I had.

    Yep. Totally had this.

  • Sporcle. I like to think of Sporcle as that thing that makes me not dumb. You know. Exercise your mind or whatever. Also, where else can you find a quiz that tests your knowledge of cowbell sections of songs? Amazing.
  • Finally, here’s a big ol’ shout out to Lamebook. Because people are stupid and it’s fun to read about it.

It’s a little sad when your favorite go-to vacation activity is cheerleading stunts. Wait. Let me rephrase that: It’s a little sad when you’re not 16 year old girls. I fully expect such behavior from the Miley Cyrus faithful, but we’re talking about Gen-Y girls here…

Every year, a couple of my girlfriends head to Charleston to participate in the Cooper Bridge Run. Oh. Maybe we ARE athletes… We finish the race mainly to make up for the massive amounts of mimosas we imbibe every year afterwards. We also eat cupcakes. This year, we stayed at the Anchorage Inn in the historic district. Or the live version of the board game Clue. Whichever. This place is actually pretty cool. It has that historic charm, and they have evening sherry and wine and cheese hour to make you feel extra snooty. Or if you’re seriously immature and decide that doing cheerleading stunts in a room full of breakable items is far more fun than being a grown up… Anyway… Cheerleading stunt pictures originated there:

NK pauses from worrying about us breaking everything just in time for a pic. Such a pro, that girl!

Aaaand continued with the Destin trip in May. Surely we can move up to a half now, right? No. See, even with a former UCA instructor and two former cheerleading coaches, we couldn’t quite pull it off our stunt of choice. Sand doesn’t hurt, does it?

GA takes one for the team

Yeah. So after several unsuccessful attempts at putting KB up in a half, we settled for another thigh stand. We were a little ambitious…

Yeah. KB looks WAAAY excited.

Next trip is Myrtle Beach. Shall we start practicing our side hurdlers, NK?

Posted by: Jo | May 22, 2010

Deep Thoughts for My Dog

It’s okay to bark at the mailman. He brings us bills. It is NOT okay to bark at the UPS man. He brings us shoes!

Posted by: Jo | May 21, 2010

Excuses to dress like a hipster

J is in New York right now and texted me this morning, “A lot of straw fedoras and rompers.” I have severe dislike for the rompers trend but I’m loving the straw fedora look. Although the combination of those are just as bad as skinny jeans on skinny men. Straw fedoras say to the world “Hey, who’s down for jamming out to Sinatra at the beach?” Yes, you can jam out to Sinatra. It’s been done.

You see, a couple weeks ago while I was in Destin, I decided I needed to own a straw fedora. So I bought one. And I rocked it.  My excuse was – “I’m on vacation, I’m allowed to dress like a hipster.” The very next week, I traveled to LA for a long weekend and decided, yet again, that it was okay to wear the hat. “I’m in LA, I’m allowed to dress like a hipster.”

Now I fear I have no excuse to wear my beloved hat. Especially in Atlanta, where the style is more conservative. Seriously the only people who wear straw hats here are old men. So I’ve decided to use my ability to strum a guitar and sing a tune on key as an excuse. “I’m a musician, I’m allowed to dress like a hipster.” Aaaannnnd fin.


Posted by: Jo | May 14, 2010

Just call me JMonkeypants

I like to climb stuff. No one knows where this mysterious desire stemmed from, but it’s here to stay. Recent evidence? During my beach trip last week I had a brief stint in a tree pretending to be a monkey with J – which occurred either in Little Costa Rica or the Florida set of Lost. Not sure exactly but it definitely felt like a Velociraptor or a Polar Bear might jump out at any second . Of course, there’s also the infamous Sweetwater Tree Climbing Incident of ’09. Witness:

I want to climb that tree. Maybe that man will help me.

I see climbing trees all over the southeast. Charleston, Atlanta, Destin… they’re everywhere. I find myself saying “that there is a good climbing tree” a lot. Like I’m freaking Huck Finn or something. I’ve always identified with his rebellious nature and his barefoot raft building skills.

A couple of years ago, my friend Kurt, aka Kmonkey, nicknamed my friend, Vicki, “Vmonkey” and me “Jmonkeypants”– why I’m the only monkey wearing pants is beyond my comprehension. I’m not sure why we decided to be monkeys, but the name sure fits me. It’s not always roses and daffodils when you climb trees, though. Back during a college camping trip, I imbibed several ML’s (that’s Miller Lites to you common folks) and ended up in a tree somewhere in the Shenandoah Valley drinking several more ML’s. A couple days later, I was at the University Health Center with what turned out to be poison ivy. Oops. Careful when you’re Old-World-Monkeying around, kids.

Posted by: Jo | May 13, 2010

Strong Like Bull

J doing his best impression of a dude who wears Ed Hardy.

Here’s the story: some rando-douche was doing push-ups on his boat. It was all very “which way to the gym?”  He was basically giving everyone free admission to the gun show. Anyway, he kept doing this in between sipping muscle milk I can only assume. People were definitely staring at him or confirming the existence of tribal tattoos on his biceps. I’m also fairly certain that he was wearing Ed Hardy swim trunks because unfortunately they make those and he MAY have been sporting a puka (aka puke-a) necklace. J found this all obnoxious as we all did and instructed me to get on his back. Making fun of him was grand. Look at me! I can do pushups with my girlfriend on my back! He did approximately 4 pushups before his arms atrophied. I should really lay off the cheesecake. We certainly had to document this digitally so he banged out one more. He’s so awesome. Didn’t even need muscle milk.

Posted by: Jo | May 12, 2010

My So-Called Dreams

So a couple weeks ago I went to the 30 Seconds to Mars concert. I’m not going to lie, it was mainly to see Jared Leto in all his hotness. I’ve been crushing on JL since My So-Called Life and I’ll admit – I’m still a little angry with Claire Danes for being a selfish whore and leaving the show before they could even do a second season.  He’s just so awesome – and apparently good at everything – acting, singing, writing music, being hot – much to my boyfriend J’s dismay. He’s a little jealous.

The hottest a guy can look with a pink mohawk

Swoon.

At the concert, I learned a couple things. 1) JL loves to spin and  2) He loves to drop f-bombs. Seriously, the kid loves to f*cking spin. Also, being a vegan makes you super skinny. He’s still hot, though. Those eyes of his melt my soul and make me feel all gooey inside and apparently make me say stupid crap I’d normally never say – melt my soul? really? I’ve been rather obsessed with him since the concert – not that I wasn’t before –  but I’ve been thinking about him more often as of late.  I’ve also taken up spinning. Witness:

Spinning a la JL

At any rate, I had a dream about him a couple nights ago. Jared wanted to me to kiss him but there was a problem. Being the fabulously amazing girlfriend I am, I couldn’t help but think of J’s feelings.  Even though Jared is on my “5 celebs I can make out with & J cannot get mad” list (and I’m fairly certain J would make out with Marisa Miller if given the chance),  I was torn in my dream and I ended up turning Jared down. Wait…what!?

I told J about this and he told me that I should have made out with that “skinny Vegan Jack of all trades.” Now that I have his blessing… is it bedtime yet?

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